


Regal  Mischief

by cjmoliere, GoldsJRZGirl



Series: Gold Standard [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drama, Family, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 18:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmoliere/pseuds/cjmoliere, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldsJRZGirl/pseuds/GoldsJRZGirl
Summary: Little Regina is having a tough time adjusting to her new baby brother, and after volunteering to dogsit for Archie, has a very innovative miechievous idea to give the two Dalmatians, Pongo and Princess, Halloween costumes. Also the Golds' second Halloween bash contains some surprises. This will be a Halloween to remember! Gold Standard verse! BabyRegal/Gold plus Snowing.





	1. A Little Mischief

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of GoldsJRZGirl's Gold Standard series, the newest addition. Please check out her profile for the rest of the series!

The sharp high wail of a baby echoed through the Nolan's loft, waking Regina up for the third time that morning. The toddler sat up in her princess bed, a Royal Awful scowl on her face. She was NOT amused.

She jumped up from her bed and marched into her parents' room, her Disney Princess nightgown fluttering, looking like she was going to go all Evil Queen on someone. "Mommy, why can't you keep Cas from crying? He cries ALL the time! Maybe you oughta send him back to the hospital and get a new baby. One that ain't 'fective!" she snapped.

"Honey, he's not defective. All babies cry. You cried. It just...takes a bit of getting used to that's all. He's just letting us know he's hungry...needs changing or just wants some affection."

It was sometimes hard for Snow to remember that she' only been raising Regina from the age of three but the child's memories had been altered so that she knew no other mother but Snow. What memories she did have of Cora that surfaced were banished when Rumple dreamwalked with her.

"But he keeps wakin' me up!" her daughter growled grumpily. "I needs my beauty sleep!"

At first she had loved the fact that now there would be a new addition to the family, but in the month since baby Caspian had come home, after being woken up several times a night almost every night, she was quite willing to trade her baby brother in for some peace and quiet. Or move into Alina's tree house.

David couldn't help chuckling and tapped her nose affectionately. "You get lots of beauty sleep honey. Just give it a little more time and Cas will settle down."

"I think he cries more n' Dylan and Daria together," she stated.

"Oh I doubt that," Snow murmured.

In the back of her mind she had concerns that Regina was becoming jealous of her new sibling. After all, she'd had the Nolans to herself from the day she was deaged and though Emma was technically her older sister she had a family of her own to take care of and didn't take up as much of her parents' time.

"Or Ilyssa," she added, wondering if she could move into Fire Mountain with her big sister Emma. She could sleep in the dojo. It would be like camping out, and Henry could help her put a tent on the floor.

Snow got out of bed and picked her son, cradling him against her chest. That seemed to soothe him for the moment. David picked up Regina and sat her on his lap. "is something else bothering you besides Cas crying honey?"

Regina leaned into her dad's shoulder. She didn't know quite how to express how she was feeling, except grumpy and disgruntled over the fact that none of the adults she adored seemed to have any time for her anymore with all these babies to care for! Even her beloved Uncle Rumple didn't always have time to take her to the park or play with the puppet show with her now that the twins were born.

Irritably, she shook her head. "M' tired, Daddy." She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me and Mommy about anything."

She shook her head stubbornly as she nestled closer to David, enjoying the smell of the Tide detergent that clung to him as well as his Brut aftershave. They made her feel safe and protected.

"If you change your mind..."

She couldn't tell her daddy that sometimes she wished she had never asked Daria and Dylan to give her a baby brother. Because then they would be disappointed in her and say she was a bad nasty little girl, the way the lady in the red dress did sometimes in her nightmares. She wasn't bad, she was good . . .or at least she tried to be.

Like Snow David too sensed something was bothering her but he couldn't determine whether it could be nightmares of Cora again or a bit of jealousy. He knew sometimes children went through a jealousy phase when a new baby came into the house but like Snow he'd grown up an only child and wasn't quite certain how to handle it.

"You're not having bad dreams, are you?"

Regina sighed. She didn't want to talk about the lady in the red dress. She scared her. "Daddy, when's Cas gonna DO something besides cry, sleep, eat, n' poop? I keep waitin' for him to do magic but nothing happens."

That was one reason why she thought her brother might be defective. Unca Rumple's twins could do magic from the moment they were born, and Ilyssa was able to also.

"Maybe he won't show his until later. Your Uncle Rumple said that sometimes happens with babies."

"Aww! But I want him to do something interesting!" she huffed. She felt the way she had when she pulled a prize out of the cereal box one time and the picture showed a cuddly stuffed bear and she got a dumb plastic ring that broke the next day.

Maybe it was time to ask her cousins for another wish.

"He may surprise you Miss Impatient," David laughed. "Come on. We've gotta let Princess out before she pees on the floor again and your mom makes us scrub it."

"I know!" his daughter rolled her eyes. "Cause she ain't potty trained all the way yet." That was another thing that was taking forever!

She jumped off her dad's lap and ran to get the puppy's pink leash with the faux diamonds on it.

In the kitchen, the nine-month old Dalmatian whined and scratched at her crate door.

The other day they'd forgotten to take the Dalmatian out because they were watching Frozen and she'd left an unholy mess on the living room rug by stepping in it before David and Regina noticed it. "Yes and we don't want anymore poo tracks on the rug either, do we Princess?'

The dog came out of the crate wagging her tail and licked Regina on the face before trotting to the door and barking.

"'Kay, Princess! I'm comin'! Cool yer jets!" Regina said, and snapped the leash on the Dalmatian's collar. "Daddy, hurry up n' get the door!"

The toddler was too small to reach the doorknob and even if she could have, there were locks.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Their door had more locks than a safe at Snow's insistence.

Then again, they didn't want Regina being able to get out and go wandering around Storybrooke as much as they didn't want anyone being able to get in.

They still didn't trust some of the people in the town around their daughter when all of them still remembered the Evil Queen she once was but Regina had come so far in this new life of hers that they were determined she would not follow the same dark path a second time.

After undoing the deadbolt and the child safety chain lock, David pulled the door open, and Regina grabbed the end of her dog's leash as the Dalmatian ran down the stairs and scratched at the door that led outside.

But that one Regina could reach and she turned the knob and opened it, letting the dog outside.

The puppy ran outside to the same grassy spot and sniffed about, Regina right behind her,

"Good girl!" the toddler praised as the puppy squatted. "I wish we had a big yard for you to run in like Unca Rumple's."

Maybe we should get a bigger place...David thought.

Princess wagged her tail. "Ruff!" she barked, as if agreeing with her mistress.

"Maybe someday we can get a house," Regina mused. "An' I can have swingset n' a play castle."

"Hmmm...you know honey...that might not be a bad idea..."

"Really? Can I have a castle with a slide?" his daughter asked eagerly. "Like the one I saw on TV?"

When she had watched Goosebumps the other afternoon, there had been an advertisement for a Disney Princess castle with a slide. The castle had been made of sturdy plastic and resembled the Cinderella castle at Disney World.

"Ummm we could...if we can find one."

"Ya gotta go online," Regina informed him. "Henry says you can get anything online."

"And I can get in a LOT of trouble online," David grimaced.

Then she added, "Only Alina says you gotta be careful cause there's thieves that steal your money and if ya talk to girls you gotta make sure they ain't crazy or bimbos. Whatever that is. Unca Rumple said I didn't need to know."

"Ummm...yeah..." He didn't dare tell his daughter he'd accidentally wandered onto an adult site and a hacker had stolen their account passwords.

"Jimmy was gonna tell me, but Unca Rumple tol' him to hush his mouth or else he'd be scrubbin' all the bathrooms with a toothbrush." Regina huffed. "Kids never get to learn anything till they're old n' have Old Timer's Disease!" she said in aggrieved tones.

"Sometimes it's better that way honey. Trust me!"

She shrugged. "So when we movin' outta here?" was her next question.

She hoped it was soon and when they got their new house she would have her room on one side, far away from her baby brother's so he couldn't wake her up with his screams.

"Well...ahhh...I gotta talk it over with your mom and we have to look for a place..."

"Just ask Unca Rumple. He'd know," she told him confidently. Rumple knew EVERYTHING. Including when she was thinking of being naughty.

"Okay. I will. After Princess finishes doing her business we'll talk to Mommy."

Archie Hopper was walking down the street with Pongo when he spotted the Nolans outside with Princess. "Good morning!" he called out cheerfully.

"Hiya, Dr. Hopper!" Regina waved and Princess woofed and tried to run over to sniff noses with Pongo.

The therapist had to admit that he preferred little Regina than the adult one since she'd terrorized him during the curse so that he would try to convince Henry that the stories in the Once Upon a Time book were nothing more than that.

Pongo woofed a greeting back, dragging Archie along as he raced over to meet the younger Dalmatian.

Regina giggled, then called to her dog, "Princess, don't give too many kisses else you'll get cooties!"

The puppy was licking Pongo under the chin.

Archie chuckled. "Oh, she's learned about that already, has she?"

"Regina learns things and I have no clue where," David admitted.

Archie glanced down at the two dogs and had a sudden inspiration. "Ummm...I have somewhere I need to be this afternoon and I was going to leave Pongo at the apartment but...would you and Snow be able to look after him until I get back?"

Regina looked delighted. "Yes! Daddy, we ain't doin' anything today an' Princess needs a dog date!"

Archie chuckled. "Isn't she a bit young yet?"

"Henry says dogs mature fast," Regina put in. "He says dogs age 7 years for every one of people."

"Well...ahh...I suppose you're right..." He pulled David aside. "I might run a bit late..."

"See what I mean?" her father gestured. "All right, I'll ask Snow. I'm sure she won't mind dogsitting for the afternoon. Having Pongo there might even calm this black and white whirlwind of destruction down," David said.

The former prince winked at him knowingly. "And I think I know why. Don't worry about it. If we start getting antsy, we can always go over to Rumple's house."

"How? I haven't told anyone...!"

David clapped him on the shoulder. "Archie, old pal, I might be married, but I'm not dead yet!"

"Oh all right...Belle...she suggested I go on one of those...dating sites...and I did and I started talking to a child psychologist from Portland and she asked me to meet her for lunch..."

"Good for you. Hope it works out, buddy. Just make sure she's not some bimbo out for your money," he warned.

"No, she's not. Rumple and Emma checked her out. Her name is Lilliana Bergmann, she's a widow and has a successful practice of her own."

"Sounds good to me."

"Which brings me to another matter. How is Regina handling Caspian?"

"Uh . . . she's starting to get a little jealous, I think. She's not used to having to share our attention and Cas doesn't sleep through the night and I'm not sure if it's him waking her up or her having nightmares but she's acting out more."

"Maybe you should bring her by my office one of these days and we'll all sit down and talk to her. As far as the nightmares are concerned, you might want to talk to Rumple and have him dreamwalk again."

"Yeah, I will. He said that what he's done might not have been enough. That repressed memories from her childhood could resurface any time. But I think last time he dreamwalked her with Rhea they tagged a lot of the memories so he could go in later and remove them."

"Plus I think I'll run some of this by Lilly and maybe she'll have some suggestions for me since she has more experience with younger patients than I do."

"That would help. I was going to ask Rumple, but I feel bad depending on him for everything, like he's my private problem solver," David said quietly.

"He doesn't seem to mind. You're not taking advantage of him as some people in town tend to do." Archie frowned. "I'm hoping we don't run into Whale at Granny's today. Lilly's family and his...have a history."

David grimaced. "Do I want to know?"

"I was shocked when she told me she's from his realm...and was even more so when she told me her uncle was a victim of one of his...experiments and I use the term loosely."

"Oh Lord! I can just imagine! He's more like a mad scientist than an MD." David shook his head. "Snow and I don't trust him. We go and see someone else, and Regina sees Doc Rogers for her checkups, he's the pediatrician."

"Good. He's still a ghoul."

"During the curse he seemed to be okay but now . . .I don't know." David especially didn't like him because he'd slept with Snow during that time, and even uncursed he still had the reputation of being a Lothario.

"I'll never trust him. Regina, would you come over here please?"

"What's up, Doc?" she smirked and ran over to the therapist.

He laughed. "You know I'm going somewhere this afternoon and I'm trusting you to look after Pongo for me. Make sure he goes out when he needs to do his business and that he eats around three but he likes to play too. If you do a good job I'll bring you a surprise back."

"Really? Cool! I'll take the bestest care of him!" she reassured him. "Thanks! Does he like Beggin' Strips? Princess does."

"Yes he does." He reached into his pocket and handed her a green ball. "He likes to chase it in the park."

"Daddy and I can go to the park, while Mommy takes care of Cas. Or maybe we can all go to the park."

"We'll see what Mommy says if not we'll go."

"That would be great. I'd better get going . thank you David...and Regina what kind of surprise do you want?"

"I dunno. You can pick it. Just make sure it ain't something dumb!"

"Regina! Manners!" David scolded.

She immediately hung her head. "Sorry."

"Good girl."

"Goodbye. I'll see you later!" Archie called out as he walked away.

Regina picked up Pongo's leash and said, "C'mon, Daddy! We gotta tell Mommy." She began walking inside the building, Pongo beside her, not pulling on the leash like her own puppy did.

Snow had just finished feeding Caspian when Regina entered the apartment leading Pongo. "Honey, what are you doing with Pongo? Did he get lost?"

"No, Mommy, Archie hadta go somewhere an' we're dogsitting!" Regina crowed. She unhooked the Dalmatian's leash and said, "Sit!"

When the dog sat obediently, she ran to get the bag of treats in the cupboard.

"He's having lunch with someone from our world he met online," David explained when he came in with Princess.

Snow raised an eyebrow. "With a lady friend? How wonderful. As long as she isn't . . .what do they call them here? A maneater?"

"I doubt it...the only person she'd want to destroy is Whale." David smirked. "Not that I blame her."

Why?" Snow asked warily, burping her son.

Meanwhile, Regina was making Pongo and Princess shake hands and feeding them Beggin' Strips.

"Archie said he used her uncle for one of his experiments."

"Oh no! That's awful!" Snow groaned. "I hope everything works out for Archie."

Just then Cas burped loudly. "Good job, my little prince," his mother cooed.

Her son gurgled at her and opened and closed his mouth like a baby bird's.

"I love when he does that," Snow murmured. "It's so cute!"

"Mommy...lookit! I gots Pongo and Princess to shake hands!" Regina yelled.

"You did? No way!" exclaimed her mother. "Let me see." She held the baby up so he could see also. "Watch what your big sister can do, Caspian."

"Yeah cause it's not gross like burpin...you get any on ya?" Regina giggled

"Not this time," her mom laughed. Her son was famous for christening everyone and everything.

Regina called the dogs over into the den and had them perform the same trick they had done for her in the kitchen. Both dogs sat and gave each other a paw when the child told them to "Shake hands, please."

"That's wonderful sweetie."

"We gotta have a dog date for them like in Lady and The Tramp."

"Maybe we can do that down at the park," David suggested. "Are you up for that, Snow?"

"I think it's a great idea."

"Then let's go," her daughter yelled and went to get Pongo's leash.

They were hoping that all of them spending the day together would help Regina not feel so jealous and understand her parents had enough room in their heart for all of their children.

As David helped gather up some things for Caspian, he said, "Oh and another thing, Snow. Regina mentioned she wished she had big yard like Rumple's. What would you think about looking for a bigger place?"

"I've been thinking about it some too. We do need a bigger place. Regina doesn't have as much room to run around here as she does when she goes to Rumple's."

"I know, and she also mentioned she wants a play castle like the one she saw on TV and a swingset. Plus when Cas gets older, we're gonna need the room."

"We can talk to Rumple about a place tomorrow."

"Yes, since he's the landlord he'll know if one's available." He hoisted the diaper bag on his shoulder and carried the 4-in-1 under his arm. "Regina, can you manage the two dogs, or you want me to take Pongo?"

"I'm good. C'mon Pongo, c'mon Princess. We're goin to the park!"

Both Dalmatians barked and pricked up their ears. Then they followed Regina down the stairs again.

She grabbed her backpack off the sofa that had her markers and coloring books in it too.

She made sure the green ball was in her jacket pocket.

"Hey Mommy, you gonna be able to take me trick or treating this year?" Regina asked Snow.

"I can. Since I'm not in the hospital. We can all go as a family this year. What would you like us to be?"

"How about the Incredibles?" Charming suggested.

"Cool! And Daddy I wanna see that new Good Dinosaur movie coming out."

"Yeah I figured that," David laughed, and hoped it wouldn't lead to a protest like the Free Birds movie had on Thanksgiving.

"And you gotta 'member no turkey on Thanksgiving 'cause I'm not eatin Reggie's friends."

David facepalmed himself. Here we go again!

"Cause if I catch ya I'm gonna make signs, stand out in the yard and I'm gonna be on the news."

"Honey, remember what Uncle Rumple always says . . .in your house you eat what you like, but in someone else's house you don't tell people what to eat. Now, you can have pizza or ham for Thanksgiving instead of turkey, and this way you won't be disloyal to Reggie."

Snow persuaded as she pushed Caspian in his stroller.

"Yeah but Daddy better eat ham or pizza or else!"

David made a face. Maybe he could sneak some turkey later at night, when Regina was asleep.

When they reached the park, Regina let both dogs off their leads so she could play fetch with them with Pongo's ball. Her parents settled themselves on a park bench to watch and as they did so, they spotted two familiar figures also pushing strollers. One was Bae, with their granddaughter Ilyssa, and the other was Rumple with his twins, in their double stroller.

"Hello, dearies! How are you this morning?" Rumple greeted them.

In the stroller, the twins waved and Daria saw Pongo and barked like a dog. Dylan reached out and a hydragea bush beside the bench burst into bloom.

Bae laughed. "Look at that. It's Miracle Gro Gold!"

"I'm dog sitting!" Regina cried.

"Hope you have insurance," Bae joked. "I feel like we're on Storybrooke Romper Room."

"Unca Rumple when's Cas gonna do magic? All he does now is cry eat an poop...booorrring!"

Rumple chuckled. Then he beckoned to his irrepressible nice to come to him while he seated himself on a bench nearby. When she had climbed up on his lap, he said, "Well, dearie, remember how I told you that we all have special gifts in us? Sometimes that means we don't all do things at the same time either. Cas was just born a month ago, so perhaps it'll take time for him to show his magical gifts. Remember, Ilyssa didn't till she was around three months old."

"Well it's taking for-EVER for him to get old enough!"

Rumple tapped her nose gently in reproof. "It only seems like forever. And what have I told you about being impatient? Do you remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare?"

"Ummm yeah..."

"All things happen in their own time, Miss Bossypants. Your little brother will grow into his magic eventually. However long it takes. If you're bored with waiting for that to happen, why don't you draw a picture while you wait?"

"Ummm I could...gonna drawn something for Halloween. Dunno what I wanna be this year."

"Maybe you can think about it and draw some ideas for a costume," the old sorcerer suggested. He was glad that his niece wanted to be something original for Halloween and not something commercialized, like all the other small girls in Storybrooke, who were dressing up like Elsa, Anna, Joy from Inside Out and Merida. He felt the whole holiday was becoming as much a commercial racket as Christmas.

"Yeah cause I really don't wanna be Elsa ...too many other girls dressing up like her. Want something different."

Then she smirked, recalling an incident that occurred in her uncle's shop a while back. "Maybe I could be that really annoying witch who had you in a cage!"

"What? No one had me in a cage, dearie!" he protested.

"Ummm I saw it in that mirror or did I dream it?"

"You fell asleep on your little cot in my back room, so I think you dreamt it," her uncle replied.

"Yeah but she was really irritating!" Regina laughed. "I got her good!"

"And that's how it should be," he chuckled.

"Emma and I are going as the king and queen of Ireland and Ilyssa's a baby princess," Bae said.

"Maybe we could be Uther and Igraine?" David mused. "And Cas could be baby Arthur?"

"And Regina, you could be Princess Morgana," Snow replied.

"Can I ?" she asked hopefully.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Snow," Rumple remarked. "Two royal families."

The adults were looking forward to Rumple's party. Snow and David had missed it last year but had an amusing video of Bae and Emma's antics including Bae singing and Emma imitating a valley girl.

"Maybe I'll be Shrek this year and Belle can be Fiona," the former imp giggled wickedly.

"Better be dressed like ogres and not them as people...didn't look right," Regina spoke up.

"Well of course we'll be dressed like ogres . . .it wouldn't be any fun if we weren't. And the twins can be the ogrelings."

Regina giggled. "Are they gonna use your ear wax for crayons?"

Rumple tickled her. "Maybe . . . but they're a little young for coloring yet. Now how about you think about the houses you want to visit and draw a map for Mommy and Daddy to follow so they don't get lost?" he suggested. He winked at Snow and David. Keeping the energetic girl occupied was a full time job.

"Okay."

Then the sorcerer pointed to the two Dalmatians who looked bored. "But why don't you play with Pongo and Princess now? They look lonely."

Regina recalled then why she had wanted to go to the park and jumped off Rumple and began throwing the ball for the dogs to fetch.

It was then Snow came up to him and whispered, "We think Regina's been having bad dreams again, Rumple. Like on last Halloween."

The old wizard frowned. "Has she spoken about any of them?"

"No, but . . .she may be afraid to . . . she woke up in a mood this morning and at first I thought it was a little jealousy because Caspian was crying and it woke her, you know how cranky she is when someone wakes her up . . ."

Rumple grimaced. "Oh, do I ever. Right, Bae?"

Bae rolled his eyes. "Yes, Papa."

The child was a Royal Brat with a Royal Attitude when you woke her up suddenly, and could remain sulky, pouty, and whiny for hours. A fact that both Gold men had learned the hard way when they had babysat her before.

"If ilyssa gets like that I'm gonna have be locked up."

"You'd better pray she inherited the Gold Good Morning genes," his father smirked. "At least my twin terrors wake up happy most mornings."

"I guess I'll find out soon enough..."

Regina was having a wonderful time with the dogs, tossing the ball to them and watching them bring it back. Though Princess was still a puppy she was happy to have another dog to play with and her young mistress was hoping there would be other dogs near her new house.

"If you want me to dreamwalk her again, bring her by the house after you've gone trick-or-treating," Rumple suggested. "She can help us make some of the treats for the party and that ought to tire her out."

"We'll do that."

"Belle wants to make hot dog mummies on sticks and a pizza snake and popcorn balls and I don't know what else. I think Alice suggested yodel tombstones and eyeball donuts. And Zombie Brains dip."

"A graveyard cake?" Snow suggested.

"You want to make something, be my guest. Maybe that ought to be the forfeit this year-a treat." Rumple smirked.

"I can't cook!" David protested.

"Then you'll have to do a trick," the mage grinned.

"Papa, I'll make Bloody Marys and Boo Goo," Bae replied.

David was grinning. "I can whip up some Devil's Punch."

"Boo Goo?" Snow raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Marshmallow caramel fondu dip," her son-in-law replied. "It's awesome. Your grandson almost ate the whole pot last time I made it."

"My Devil's Punch is adults only," David laughed. "If you can handle it."

"Trust me," Bae assured him. "My Bloody Mary's are extra spicy. They can kick your ass."

"Okay then let's see who can make the strongest drink," David challenged.

Snow rolled her eyes. "Men! FYI-I'M not putting YOU to bed, Nolan!"

"Baelfire, you get sick on my bathroom floor and YOU'RE gonna clean it," Rumple threatened.

"Ah don't worry hon. I'll be fine. Bae's gonna be the one with a problem," the former prince boasted.

"I don't THINK so," the martial arts instructor shook his head. David forgot Bae had been initiated by Master Kitaro's nephew Kenji in the art of strong drinking and using several Eastern techniques to avoid being truly drunk. At least for awhile.

"I'll keep a mop and a bucket handy," his father sighed.

"Does he need us to remind him how trashed he and Emma were in New York?"

Bae blushed. "Yeah and I wasn't the only one-Papa."

"I wasn't intending to get drunk!" his father protested. "I was trying to keep David from having a panic attack. Had I known the way alcohol doesn't affect you while flying . . ."

"And boy you were sicker than a dog the next morning."

Rumple scowled. "One time in all my three hundred and fifty-three years, Charming. And never again!"

"We'll see."

"Oh we will, dearie."

Regina came running over to them with a hand drawn map in her hands and waved it around. "Mommy, Daddy lookit! I made a map to where I wanna live!"

Snow studied it. "And just where is this, darling?"

"Ummm...the street down from Unca Rumple's that ole blue house!"

"The old blue house . . .?" Rumple frowned. "You mean the one that used to be Humpty Dumpty's house?"

"Yeah but we gotta fix it up cause its prolly a mess since he doesn't live there anymore."

Following a sudden trip and fall down the stairs during the Storybrooke Blizzard, the old egghead professor had to move to a house with no stairs and his old house now stood empty.

"We can do that," David said. "How much are you asking, Rumple?"

"I'll have to see the specs again," the landlord replied. Whatever he had been charging the professor he would lower it for his relations.

"Can we go see it 'fore we go home?"

He made a mental note to look up the property in his computer when he got home.

Just then the twins began fussing, banging on their stroller and making "Mmm!" noises.

"Looks like my dearies are hungry. It's lunchtime for them," their papa said and handed each of them a stick of hardened honey shortbread, which they could munch on until they arrived home. "I'd better be going before there's a riot."

"An I gotta feed Pongo at three!" Regina cried.

"And I need to pick up Henry."

They all bid each other goodbye and returned home.

After she fed the dogs Regina kept thinking about Halloween. "You should go with me Princess."

"But you gotta have a costume first..."

She knew they made clothing for dogs but one of her previous efforts to dress Princess ended in disaster when the Dalmatian tore the little shirt she had her father buy to shreds.

She needed something the dog couldn't get off of her or rip apart.

She glanced down at the markers in her pencil box and smiled as an idea came to her. "I can make you an Pongo scary without costumes!"

Luckily her mom and dad were busy with Cas, or at least her dad was giving him a bath while her mom napped.

She drew little black spiders on both dogs with her markers then stepped back to admire her handiwork. "There. Now you're scary and can go trick or treat with me!"

Princess whimpered, not really liking this new look.

Pongo's ears drooped and he covered his face with his paws. Both dogs looked at each other and felt vastly put upon.

Pongo knew from experience the former queen was a menace as an adult but as a child she was a holy terror!

Princess looked at the elder Dalmatian and whimpered the dog equivalent of, Why me? They told me having a human child to play with would be fun. But it's . . .a nightmare! My beautiful spotted coat!

And why...why did Archie leave me with HER of all people! Pongo whined.

Regina gazed at the two dogs, pleased with her handiwork. Now they looked scary and creepy, just like dogs were supposed to look on Halloween.

Picking up Archie's scent Pongo raced to the front door and scratched at it impatiently. Get me out of here!

Just then the doorbell rang.

"Daddy! I think Archie's back!" Regina shrilled.

"I'm coming!" David called back.

Caspian began wailing, and Snow woke up and took her son from her husband, freeing him to answer the door.

Archie stood on the other side with a woman beside him. "Hi. David, this is Lilly."

"Hello, David Nolan, pleased to meet you," he shook her hand.

Archie kneeled down to pet Pongo and gasped in shock. "David! What on earth is all over my dog!"

"What are you talking about?" the former prince asked, then he gasped and his eyes bugged out as he caught sight of their own dog . . . who looked like a victim of an artist gone insane. "Oh my God! Regina did you do this?"

"I gave him and Princess Spidey spots for Halloween."

David sputtered in horror. Snow entered holding Cas and saw Archie and a pretty woman standing in the den. "Hello, I'm Mary Margaret. You must be Lilly. Welcome to our home. Won't you sit down?"

Lilly was giggling. "Thank you.."

Archie glowered at his date. "What's so funny?"

"Oh this is the kind of thing Meredith would do...and did, remember me telling you about it?"

"Mary Margaret, LOOK at what Regina did to the poor dogs!" her husband cried, pointing first to Princess and then to Pongo.

Snow just then noticed the . . .spiders on the dogs. "Oh . . .oh my word!" she cried, then she abruptly began laughing, unable to help herself. She had to sit down on the couch so she didn't drop Cas, who was now gurgling.

"My granddaughter Meredith is a year older than Regina and last Halloween she took my daughter's makeup and put it on the cat."

"I think they look good n scary like they're sposed to for Halloween," Regina huffed.

David groaned. "Regina, remember the time you painted Uncle Rumple's collie with Easter egg dye? You know you're not supposed to-to decorate animals."

He looked apologetically at Archie. "I'm so sorry. I swear she was great with them until now. One minute she's sweet as sugar and the next she's like Dennis the Menace."

He gave his daughter an I'm-Very-Disappointed Look. "Regina Nolan, what do you say to Archie?"

"M...m'sorry," she murmured, staring at her shoes.

"Now you go and face the wall for five minutes, young lady," her exasperated father said. "I hope that the marker comes off when you give them a bath."

"It's all right Regina,"Archie said softly while she stood in the corner whimpering.

"I . . .I don't understand what gets into her," David muttered. "I swear it's like sometimes she's two kids . . .the good one who listens to us and does what we tell her and then there's this . . .mischievous little imp that drives me to drink!"

"It's not..acting out because of the baby is it?" Archie asked Lilly. She shook her head.

"You have more experience with this kind of thing than we do," Snow admitted.

"No. Sometimes children do silly things and they're not harmful. Now it would be a cause for concern if she had harmed either of the dogs," Lilly replied.

"Daddy, I'd never hurt Princess n' Pongo!" the child sniffled. "I jus' wanted them to have a costume for Halloween! One that Princess couldn't rip up." She was still in the corner, but her hearing was sharper than the adults realized.

They all looked at each other.

David wished Rumple were there. He always seemed to know how to get through to his daughter without being overly harsh or sounding like an idiot.

Lilly stood up and walked over to the corner where the child was standing and smiled at her. "We know that honey. Like I said...my granddaughter did something similar to her cat but they don't always like it."

"But why? They look cool."

"Let me put it to you another way...suppose someone painted you up to look like something that made you uncomfortable. Would you think you looked cool...or not?"

Regina thought about this. "Umm . . .no. I'd think I looked dumb."

"Right...and Princess and Pongo aren't feeling cool right now so how can we make them happy?"

"Umm . . .by washing them off?" Regina sighed.

"Right and maybe Mommy or Daddy will help you."

"Okay. But then . . .what is Princes gonna be for Halloween?"

"Maybe she's happier being herself."

Regina cocked her head. "But I thought you was supposed to be someone else for Halloween."

"Dogs don't need to. They just like to go along as they are to look after you."

"Like to protect me? Like when Unca Rumple drove off the nasty witch finder ghost last Halloween?"

"That's right sweetie."

"Okay. I guess that's good."

"If you do a good job bathing Pongo I still have that surprise I owe you," Archie spoke up.

"Mommy, can you help?" Regina begged. "You're better giving Princess a bath than Daddy. Last time he tried we had a flood."

"Oh come on!" David cried. "I'm not a disaster!"

"You are too," Regina disputed. "You forgot to turn the water off an it got all over the floor then it leaked down into Mister Finn's place an he was real mad."

"She kept trying to escape and I've only got two arms!"

"Then maybe we oughta ask Unca Rumple to make you a real spiderman so's you have enough hands to do stuff."

"Ummm don't you think no I'd look kinda ridiculous having eight arms, honey?"

"Nah, not when you can do lotsa stuff an be cooler than Spiderman. He's not a real Spiderman anyway cause HE'S only got two hands."

Snow laughed at the mental image she had in her head of her husband with eight arms. "It would be interesting. Come on honey, let's go get this marker washed off the dogs so Archie can take Pongo home."

Princess was all to eager to participate in bath time this time since it would get those awful spiders off her beautiful coat. She hoped her young mistress wouldn't be getting anymore "dress up the dog" ideas.

Once they were finished Regina was surprised when the two dogs licked her cheek.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Woof!" The Dalmatians gave slight shakes of their heads.

"Okay. I promise not to make you dress up for Halloween anymore."

When they took the dogs back out to the living room Archie handed Regina a coloring book for The Good Dinosaur.

"I wasn't sure what else to get."

"What do you say, Regina?" Snow prompted.

"Thank you Doc!" she cried as she hugged his knees.

David and Snow breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully her new present would keep her occupied and they could avoid any more mischief but knowing Regina, it was only a matter of time before she got into more!


	2. Halloween Tricks and Treats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina meets a royal brat named Meredith and Nala has a frightening encounter.

The Golds had decorated their house to look like Shrek's hut. Gold's Cadillac, parked outside in the driveway, had been transformed using glamour to an onion coach drawn by two crocodiles. The lawn leading up the house, usually immaculate, had also been transformed into a mucky swamp, with a rickety wooden sign that said Trespassers Will Be Eaten! Go Away! Moss hung on a crooked oak tree and strange creaks, groans, and other scary sounds emerged from the hut, and green smoke poured from the chimney. It looked downright creepy.

But then, that was the idea. Over the door was a sign which read Welcome to the Ogres' Den.

Belle and Rumple, along with Alina and Jimmy, had worked hard to help decorate before Alina went over Ash Fox's house with Henry for their own Halloween party along with Grace, Ava and Nick, and Hans. Jimmy was staying home and going to attend the Halloween bash right there in the basement.

Nala sat in the window, wearing her Bast's golden collar, her black nose peering out into the gloaming as the sun set, her green eyes glowing like foxfire.

Meanwhile, Belle bustled around in her Fiona costume bringing food down to the basement, with Rumple in his Shrek costume, except for his mask, assisting her. The twins were the ogrelings, and Rumple had dressed them in cute outfits, with Dylan in a two piece short set and Daria in a dress similar to Belle's.

Jimmy was dressed as a zombie witch doctor, complete with skull staff and sacrificial obsidian dagger. That was fake, because Rumple refused to allow him a real one, saying there was too much trouble with him carrying an actual weapon around on Halloween. His nephew reluctantly gave in, since he didn't want to risk getting Rumple in a snit and not being able to attend the party.

All of their makeup had been done by Rumple, because Belle refused to wear a mask and Jimmy also. He had mixed several colors until he achieved the right consistency and green sludge complexion, then painted each of them, with Belle wearing a red wig and Jimmy using hair gel to spike his hair.

Rumple also added realistic wounds and stitches on Jimmy's head and cheek, and used another preparation to paint the boy's teeth rotting yellow.

"How do I look?" the boy asked when his costume was all completed. He wore long brown tattered robes and black cut off ragged breeches and boots also, and fake amulets and bone necklaces.

"Very scary, dearie," Rumple assured him. "Your mama wouldn't recognize you."

Jimmy grinned. "I'm glad."

Just then they heard the doorbell ring.

The Nolans were the first guests to arrive, having decided to dress as Uther, Igraine, Arthur, and Princess Morgana.

David asked Rumple to make their costumes similar to the ones the cast wore in the film Excalibur and David was even carrying a plastic replica of the famous sword.

Regina, wearing a beautiful purple velvet dress, tiara, and sparkly violet shoes knocked impatiently on the door. "Heey, Unca Rumple! We're he-e-e-re!"

"Regina, keep your voice down please," Snow pleaded.

Her daughter shot her an impatient look. "But Mommy, how can they hear me with all these noises?"

Just then something belched loudly. Then hiccupped.

David laughed. "I don't even want to know how he managed THAT!"

Regina rolled her eyes. "That's 'sgusting!"

Before she could say anything further, the door opened, and Jimmy shook his staff in her face and cried, "Hello, my pretty! Come in, come in! We've been waiting for you!" He smirked at her, licking his lips.

Regina looked him up and down. "What happened to you?" she demanded. "Ya get run over?"

"I'm a zombie and I eat brrrraaaaiinnnssss..."

Regina shrank back a little, then she cried, "Ya don't scare me, Jimmy! Unca Rumple! Jimmy said he's gonna eat my brain!" she shrieked.

"Shh!" Snow cried. "You'll wake the babies!"

"Not scared huh?" Jimmy taunted.

Regina shook her head. Then she pouted. "Maybe a little," she admitted. "Ya look like ya climbed outta a grave."

"That's the idea, kid." He laughed. "And you look like you walked out of a ball room," he returned, stepping aside so they could enter the house. He examined all their costumes. "Even the baby prince looks regal." He tickled Cas under the chin. "Right, little mackerel?"

The baby squealed and giggled. He was wearing an adorable soft blue tunic and little velvet hose which buttoned so he could be changed easily. He had on little socks that looked like boots and a matching velvet cap.

Snow was wearing a shimmering pink and white gown, with diamonds and rubies along the neckline and a pure white ermine cape and glittering shoes. She wore a pointed cap on her head with a fluttering veil and diamond earrings.

David wore costly silk hose, and a shirt of murray, which was a kind of purplish crimson, and a doublet of red. Over it he had on a leather cuirass and his boots and a sword belt with his sword in it. He also wore a coronet and looked every inch a king. He held Cas in his infant seat.

"So who are you supposed to be?" Jimmy asked.

"Uther Pendragon, Queen Igraine, Prince Arthur, and Princess Morgana," Snow replied. "And what sort of zombie are you?"

"A witch doctor," Jimmy growled, then he giggled like a maniac.

Just then they heard a loud bang outside.

"What was that, Unca Rumple? Sounded like something blowing up!" Regina cried fearfully.

Regina jumped. Cas began crying, and so did the twins who were in their swing in the den. Nala hissed and ran under the sofa, her tail fluffed out.

Rumple made his appearance, holding a baby in each arm and crooning, "Hey now, little dearies, it's okay. Papa won't let anyone hurt you."

Daria clung to his patched tunic and wailed in his ear, letting her displeasure be known. Dylan buried his head in Rumple's shoulder and whimpered more quietly.

Behind them some flowers along the wall trellis drooped and Nala growled and lashed her tail.

"What was that, Rumple?" Belle asked.

Freya came down the stairs, barking in warning, agitated because Daria was screaming. The collie was almost fully grown now, a red gold beast with a thick coat to rival Lassie's.

"Freya! Quiet!" her husband ordered the collie, who quit barking and came to sit beside him, whining. "It's okay. I think some more guests have arrived." He patted the twins soothingly.

Then they heard the doorbell and a raised voice outside.

"Your car's a big piece of crap!"

"Meredith!"

Regina scowled. "Who's THAT?"

"Welcome to the swamp!" Jimmy groaned and opened the door.

Archie and Lilly stood on the doorstep. Archie was Herman Munster with his face painted gray and a black wig with screws sticking out covering his ginger hair and wearing a brown suit with a black sweater. Lilly was costumed as Lily Munster wearing a lavender dress with a bat necklace, her brown hair covered by a black wig with a grey streak in it and a four year old girl was holding her hand. She was wearing a white shirt, black shorts and coat. Her face was painted white and she had plastic fangs in her mouth.

"Ummm...hello. Sorry...that was my car making that racket," Archie said sheepishly.

"Cause it's a hunka junk an' you were too dumb to bring Gramma's car!" Meredith scoffed.

"Meredith Bergmann, you apologize right now!" Lilly said sternly.

Regina gaped at them. "You're a girl? Why you dressed like a boy? You tryin' to be a transvestite like on Rocky Horror?"

"Regina Nolan!" Snow gasped.

""I'm tryin' to be Eddie Munster, dummy! Who're you supposed to be? Queen Stupid?"

"Meredith!" Archie snapped.

"You're not my grandpa so shove it, cricket!"

"Meredith, you stop that right now or you'll spending the night in the corner!" Lilly yelled.

Regina glared at the other girl and put her hands on her hips. "Hey! I ain't dumb, don'tcha know anything? I'M Princess Morgana Pendragon, and YOU don't talk to Doc Hopper that way or else you're goin' ta be locked in the dungeon an' not 'llowed to go to the party, buster!"

"Oh yeah? You gonna put me there, dummy? I'm older'n you!" Meredith challenged.

Rumple bit back a smirk. The little hellion didn't know what she had unleashed talking to Archie that way. Regina could be a royal brat at times, but she knew better than to talk to an adult that way, and she didn't like anyone talking down to her.

Regina gave her an Evil Queen glower. "So what? If you're a brat you're gonna be treated like one. Right, Unca Rumple?"

"That's right, dearie," he responded. His twins sniffed at the other child and Freya gave a warning bark.

Nala leaped onto his shoulder and hissed loudly, wrapping her tail around his neck.

"Meredith, you march yourself over to that corner right now or you are not going trick or treating tonight...and you'll be grounded for a week!"

Archie pulled Rumple aside. "I thought Regina was bad when she had her fits but...she is worse!"

"Meredith, if I have to count to three..." Lilly warned.

Her granddaughter snorted in disgust and marched over to the corner, glaring at the wall.

"Better move it, else your butt's gonna regret it," Regina warned, and petted Freya. The collie licked her face.

"I'm sorry about all this," Lilly said sadly.

"It's all right, Lilly. That's not the first time a child has acted out in my house," Rumple said resignedly. "And it won't be the last."

"All right Meredith, you can come out now," Archie said five minutes later. She kicked his foot while she was walking past him. "Dumb cricket!" she grumbled.

"You're going to learn to treat me with a little more respect if it kills me young lady!" Archie called after her.

Rumple handed Daria to Belle. "Welcome to my home and Happy Halloween. I'm Rumple Gold aka Shrek and this is my lovely wife, Fiona, and my twin ogrettes, Dylan and Daria."

"Oh, they're adorable!"

"Yeah, if you like mutants," Meredith snickered.

He reached up and stroked his black cat. "And these are my pets, Nala and Freya." He snapped his fingers and Freya offered her paw.

"Why hello, Nala," Lilly shook the cat's paw gently. Then she shook Freya's.

Regina clenched her fists. "Least they don't look like a reject from the Dracula 'vention!"

Jimmy giggled. "Ooh, the queen has spoken!" he hooted.

"Mr. Jones, don't encourage her," Rumple frowned.

Meredith blew a raspberry. "Why don'cha go grab a broom and fly outta here with your black fleabag!"

"That's it. You are not going trick or treating, you're grounded and I'll be taking your Nintendo when we get home." Lilly had never been so embarrassed in her life. Normally her granddaughter was sassy and outspoken and could sometimes come off as rude, but it seemed as if she was determined to be as offensive as possible today.

"Grammmaaaa!"

Rumple eyed his small guest and said quietly, "I suggest you adjust that attitude, dearie, or else you're not going to have a very fun Halloween. Insulting me and my family and my cat is not a smart thing to do. And your grandmother told me you were smart. I guess she was exaggerating."

"What're you gonna do, turn me into a toad?"

"Might be an improvement," Jimmy muttered under his breath.

"I am smart!"

"Really? Why don't you show me how smart you are, miss? A smart little girl would greet her host properly, and then would be shown into the kitchen to get some treats and hot apple cider. But a naughty little girl will end up in the back bedroom writing "I will not insult Mr. Gold" twenty-five times on my chalkboard. So, what's it going to be?"

"M'sorry..." She held out her hand. "I'm Meredith Bergmann."

She would be polite...for now...but in the back of her mind she was already plotting to get even with that uppity Princess Stupid and the mutant clan.

"Rumplestiltskin Gold. Pleased to meet you." He shook her hand. Nala leaped off of his shoulder and went and hid under a chair, her fur bristling. "This is my wife, Belle, and my twins, Dylan and Daria, and my nephew Jimmy."

"Hi."

"That's better, Meredith," Lilly encouraged. Archie looked away and shook his head knowing it was just another of Meredith's games and sooner or later she'd be back to her nasty self. She reminded him too much of the old Regina.

"Hi, kid," Jimmy greeted. "If you want some snacks, come into the kitchen and I'll give you some." He beckoned to the children. Most of the food was downstairs awaiting the adults, but Belle and Alice had left plenty upstairs for the children to eat.

"Cool!"

The girls followed him into the kitchen.

Regina ran into the kitchen, which was decorated with orange and gold streamers and spider webs and the stove looked like a black ancient one with a cauldron bubbling on it. "Cool! How'd ya do that?"

"Uncle Rumple did one of his spells," Jimmy replied. He went and got some paper plates with a Halloween theme on them and pointed to the food on the old pine table.

"What would you like?"

Regina looked at the array of food. "What ya got?"

Jimmy pointed to each thing as he named it. "Mummy hot dogs on sticks, a pizza snake, eyeball donuts, zombie brain chili, yodel tombstones, hot apple cider, spider pinwheels, and taco gut dip."

"Ummm...you got that dirt stuff that Archie and Gramma make?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, it's in the fridge," Jimmy replied. He opened it and said, "Oh and there's gopher gut sandwiches in here too. They've got salami, cheese, and turkey on them with pesto sauce."

He pulled out the tray of sandwiches and set them on the table and the bowl of chocolate pudding with crumbled oreos on top with gummy worms artistically arranged across it.

"Oooh cool you do have dirt!" Meredith cried. She spooned some of the dirt onto a plate and took a bite then promptly spit it out...all over Regina!

"Won't be calling me a reject now, will ya?" Meredith taunted.

Regina glared at her. "If ya don't like something you spit it out in the trash," she rolled her eyes, swiping at the mess on her gown. She wanted to pull the other girl's hair out but she recalled Snow's lessons on acting like a lady and controlled herself. She didn't want to get in trouble for hitting a guest.

As Jimmy was putting some dirt in a bowl for himself, Regina snuck a sandwich off the tray and reached into a pocket. She had put some fake rubber maggots in there to play a trick on her uncle but figured it'd be more amusing to play a trick on this little stuck up brat instead.

She took the rubber maggots out and shoved them into the sandwich. Then smiling sweetly, she said, "Here, Meredith. Have a welcome wich." She thrust the plate with the sandwich into her hands, smirking angelically.

"Probably tastes like crap too...it...ewwwww!" Meredith screamed and dropped the sandwich on the floor. "Gramma...they gave me MAGGOTS!"

Jimmy started laughing. He high-fived Regina. Then he handed her some baby wipes to clean off her dress. "Showed her who's the First Mate, didn'tcha, Queenie?"

"And here's some blood punch!" Regina continued, and thrust a cup of fruit punch at the little creep.

"I'm telling! GRAMMA!"

"Aww! Why don't you cry about it?" Regina snorted. "Can't ya take a joke? Or are you a big tattletale?" She pointed to the sandwich. "Look, silly baby! They ain't real maggots! They're rubber!" She rolled her eyes.

Jimmy held out a roll of paper towels. "In this house, you make a mess, you swab the deck, kid."

"Screw you!" Meredith yelled and ran out of the room. "GRAMMAAAA, LOOK WHAT THAT BRAT DID!" Meredith yelled, pointing to her stained shirt. "She put maggots in a sandwich and poured punch on me!"

Archie scowled at her. "Regina doesn't do anything like that unless she has a good reason. What did you do to provoke it?"

"That's the pot calling the kettle black, Doc," Jimmy said, coming out holding a bowl with some dirt in it. "She took some of this pudding, ate it and spit it out all over Regina's dress and said it tasted nasty. So that's when Gina put fake maggots in her sandwich. And Miss Priss shoved her and spilled her own punch on her own dress and I saw everything so you know you can't deny it."

Jimmy often thought Regina was a brat but no one was going to come into his uncle's house and start disrespecting his family. Not even if they were the queen's own relative!

Meredith tried to kick him but Archie pulled her back. "That is enough out of you, young lady!"

"Gramma, why don'cha dump this dumb bug...he's an idiot!"

Rumple frowned. "Child, your manners are atrocious. In my house we don't speak that way to adults. Any child of mine who did would get a dose of Ivory to remind them to respect their elders."

"And you will be...NOW," Lilly growled. "May I have a bar please?"

Rumple snapped his fingers and a bar appeared in his hand. "Here, Lilly."

Jimmy sniggered. "Now you'll see what real dirt tastes like."

"James!" Rumple snapped in warning.

The boy lost his smug air. "Sorry, sir."

Regina peered around the kitchen alcove. "Who's cleanin' up the mess in here? I ain't, I didn't do it."

Lilly placed the bar of soap in her granddaughter's mouth. "I am very disappointed in you, Meredith nor will I tolerate this behavior any longer. You will treat the Golds with respect and you will treat Archie with respect. And you will clean up the mess in the kitchen," Lilly said firmly.

Freya began licking the pudding off Regina's dress. Rumple saw and pushed the dog's nose away. "No chocolate, silly collie. You want to get sick?" He fed the dog a Meaty Bone. Then he put a hand over Regina's dress and fixed the stain. "There! Good as new. Did you have some of Auntie Belle's mummy-on-a-sticks? I know they're your favorite."

"Uh-huh! I wanna make some!"

"We will, sweetie . . . another day," Belle said. "Now go and enjoy the ones on the table."

"Yum!" Regina ran back into the kitchen to get some.

"And you have a mess to clean up. Come along," Lilly escorted her angry granddaughter back into the kitchen.

Regina took a mummy-on-a-stick, and Jimmy cut her a slice of the pizza snake, which was like a cheese and sauce filled stromboli shaped like a snake.

"Again I am so sorry about this, Rumple...Meredith has been...difficult her whole life from what Lilly has told me," Archie said sadly.

'Hey, dearie. It's not your fault the child has an attitude. Many children do these days. She reminds me of Cora, truth be told. Or what Cora might have been like if I had known her as a child. You have nothing to be sorry for. Now why don't you get something to eat?"

Archie smiled. "We did bring a little something for the party." He handed Rumple a Tupperware container. "Since we're the Munsters...we made dragon cookies."

Rumple grinned. "They look perfectly delicious . . .and scary!" He picked one up and bit its head off. "Mmm! Sugar cookies with chocolate frosting."

"I'm looking forward to wearing out my Lilly's feet dancing."

"You'll be doing a lot of that if you want to," the other giggled. "Me and my ogress love dancing."

A short time later Lilly and Meredith came out of the kitchen. "Rumple, where are the kids going to be for the party?" Lilly asked him.

He put his arm around Belle. Then he winced as Dylan tried to poke him through the eyeholes on his Shrek mask. "No, son. You don't want to put out Papa's eye." He gently took his son's finger away. Dylan squawked. "No," Rumple said firmly. "No poking me." Then he gave the boy his favorite stuffed toy-a gingerbread man.

"I have a playroom they can be in. Though since the party starts rather late, I'm hoping they might be sleeping before then." He planned to make sure Regina was so he could dreamwalk her.

"All right. And Meredith...I expect you to be on your best behavior."

"Yes, Gramma," she mumbled.

"Regina, that goes for you too," Snow reminded her. "No more pranking anybody. Or else you'll be in the corner too."

"Okay, Mommy," she agreed. She didn't want to get in trouble on Halloween. "Can we go trick or treating soon?"

"Yes, after Emma and Bae and Ilyssa come here," her mother agreed.

Regina happily ate her food, saying, "I love this, Auntie Belle."

"Thank you, hon."

Daria saw Regina's hot dog and reached for it. "Mmm!" she said.

"Hold on, imp, Mama will get you some," Belle laughed. Now that the twins had teeth and could eat solid food, they wanted to eat almost everything they saw.

She went into the kitchen to get a mummy-on-a stick to split between her two children because when one had something, the other wanted it.

As the twins happily chewed their mummies, a car door slammed and soon they heard Bae tapping on the door.

"Hey Papa, we're here!"

Rumple waved open the door. "Welcome to my hut, dearie!' he giggled.

"Love the getup, Papa!"

Bae had on an emerald green wool tunic with a gold border of Celtic links and black leather pants and floppy boots. He had on a golden circlet and wore a gold torc with wolves and golden armbands. His cloak was of bearskin, lined with green satin. And he wore a belt with a Celtic knot buckle and a dagger. In his hand he carried a grocery bag with a blender and another with a fondue pot and his fondue and Bloody Mary mix.

"Ready to get sauced?"

Emma was right behind him, in a pretty dress of crimson and gold with a high waist and a cloak of matching mink with gold satin. Her torc was also gold, with swans on it, and she wore several golden link bracelets and gold Celtic earrings. Her belt was formed of thick gold links and precious stones and her circlet had a claddagh on it.

She was holding Ilyssa and a diaper bag.

The previous year she'd been terribly worried about her parents when she arrived yet she still managed to have a good time thanks to her husband and father-in-law.

Ilyssa, who had now begun showing dark gold tufts of hair, wore a gorgeous satin gown with little crystals sewn all over it in the shape of wings. She had little white lace tights, and soft gold shoes and a pretty barrette shaped like a silver swan. Her bib said I'm the Princess Gotta Love Me! Her beautiful blue eyes blinked.

"Well, look at you!" Rumple crooned at his granddaughter. "How's my swan princess?"

Frightened of this looming green skinned monster, Ilyssa began to cry.

Rumple was startled. "What the-?"

"Papa, your mask. She doesn't recognize you," Bae reminded.

"Right. Of course not. The twins were scared too when they first saw me," his father muttered and pulled off the mask. "Princess, don't cry. Look, it's Grandpa!" he gave a little giggle.

The baby eyed him suspiciously.

"She's looking at me and saying Yeah, prove it," Rumple laughed.

"She gets that from her mom," his son teased.

"And my superpower works every time," Emma bragged.

"Emma, are you a queen?" asked Regina, coming up to hug her.

"For a day I am, kid. Like you're a princess." her sister tweaked her nose.

Regina took Ilyssa's hand. "You n' I are both princesses, Lyssa. An' Cas is baby Arthur!"

Her niece gave her a smile. Then she began to squirm restlessly, wanting out of the carrier.

"I think the swan chick wants to fly!" Regina giggled.

Bae coughed. "Umm . . . Papa . . .she did . . kind of . . ."

"When, son?" Rumple cried, alarmed.

"Today. Her wings came back while Emma was dressing her and she . . sort of hovered about a quarter of an inch before landing again."

Emma shook her head. "I was so shocked I almost fell down. But then they disappeared and she was yawning." She picked up her daughter. "There, punkin, now you can see everyone."

"And I'm ready to go trick or treating!" Regina cried.

"Hold on, kid, let us catch our breath first," Emma laughed. "Mom, you look great! So do you, Dad!"

"Thanks, honey!" Snow said, and hugged her.

"Actually, you all do," Emma said, then looked at Archie. "Hey, Herman, who's your wife?" she joked.

"Lilliana Bergmann. She's a therapist from Portland."

"And our world," Lilly added.

Lilly held out her hand to Emma.

Emma took it. "Emma Gold, and this is my husband Baelfire and our daughter Ilyssa."

"I'm very pleased to meet you and your daughter is adorable."

"Thanks. She takes after her grandmas."

Lilly wished Meredith was more like her even her daughter but she was more like the man who spawned her, their family's enemy who seduced her naive daughter.

Jimmy came into the foyer. "Whoa! Bae, you actually combed your hair!" he smirked.

"Yeah and yours looks like rats chewed on it," his brother returned. "Now watch it, before I kick your ass, boy," he mock growled.

"Yeah?" Jimmy said cockily, and swung a fist at his brother's head.

Bae caught it in his free hand and did some complex martial arts move Emma had never seen and Jimmy found himself entrapped by one steely arm. "What was that, kid?"

"Uncle Rumple! He's committing assault!" the teenager yelped.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "Let him go, Bae. You can dismantle him later where the children can't see. You know your mama hates scrubbing blood out of the carpets."

"Papa, you ruin all my fun," Bae groused, then he released his brother. "Later, we'll spar, kid. Be prepared to get your butt whipped," he said with an evil grin.

Jimmy went and stuck out his tongue. "Only if you can see straight, Baelfire. Which I doubt. Not after the party."

"You're gonna eat those words, baby brother," Bae chuckled.

"Put your money where your mouth is," Jimmy challenged. "Ten bucks says by the end of tonight you're gonna be so wasted you're gonna need a fork lift to drag your butt away."

Bae raised an eyebrow. "You do like digging your own grave, don't you, kid?"

"Ain't mine. It's yours." He held out a hand. "Deal? Or you too chicken?"

Bae took it. "Deal. Be prepared to break open your piggybank."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Should I get a fire hydrant?"

Jimmy pointed at Bae. "He started it."

"Down, boy!" Belle commanded. "Before you end up sleeping in the garage."

"But . . .Aunt Belle . . .!"

"Hush, boy. You get on her bad side and even I won't be able to save you," warned his uncle.

Jimmy sighed, recognizing good advice when he heard it. And unlike his father, he would take it.

"Where shall I set this up, Mama?" asked Bae, indicating the bags he held.

"In the basement, dear."

Bae went downstairs, and his curious brother followed.

"I'm ready to party," David said.

"First we take our daughter around the block, honey," Snow reminded him. Threadneedle Way and the two other streets nearby were long enough to allow some decent trick-or-treating.

"Okay, Snow. Just saying," David said.

Regina ran up to them with her little bag in her hand. "Yay! Hope I get some good candy!"

Snow smiled at her. "I'm sure you will." She knew that no one would dare slight the child.

"Figures she gets to go trick or treating," Meredith snorted.

"Had you not been so disrespectful you would be too," Lilly reminded her granddaughter.

Ilyssa glared at the other child. Like her mother she could sense vibes and her nascent magic was telling her this one was trouble with a capital T.

Daria spotted her niece and clapped her hands. They often played together. Rumple's daughter blew a kiss at her.

Emma laughed. "Hey, Daria! Did you miss Lyssa?" She brought her swan chick by Daria.

The two babies clasped hands.

"Aww! They love each other!" Regina cried.

Feeling left out, Dylan reached out a hand too. "Meemeee!" he called. So Rumple brought him beside Ilyssa and he grabbed her other hand.

"The triple terrors," he giggled.

"Soon it'll be the quadruple threat," David said, and indicated his son sleeping in his infant seat.

"There goes the neighborhood," Belle quipped.

"Okay, Mommy, can we go now?" Regina demanded, tugging on Snow's gown.

"Charming, let's go." Snow said, and then they waved goodbye and set out down the street.

Unnoticed, Nala slipped outside, having darted out the door when Meredith went to touch her, not wanting any nasty little girl to get hold of her. Now the frightened kitten crouched beneath a bush in the neighbors' yard, afraid to move, recalling the last time she had been outside, and gotten attacked by a huge dog and run over by the Evil Queen.

Inside, everyone was talking and the babies were playing on the toy quilt. Rumple had started a fire in the fireplace which changed color every five minutes from green to blue to purple then to blood red.

As the adults chatted, the babies grew sleepy because of the warmth and drifted off and were put upstairs by their mamas in their cribs and Pac and Plays.

Bae, Jimmy, and Archie were busy arranging things downstairs while Belle, Emma, and Lilly heated up food and Rumple answered the door for trick or treaters, handing out "Golden Straw Treats" which were treats that tasted either like lemonade or birthday cake, depending on the child's preference, and looked like bundles of straw. They also had a Glo Stick in the middle of them.

The kids thought they were awesome and chanted, "Thanks, Mr. Gold!"

"Happy Halloween, dearies!"

Regina was having a wonderful time trick or treating and every house she went to she was given some extra treats. Her small bag was nearly overflowing with candy.

Everyone praised her costume and those of her mom and dad and baby brother. They all admired how sweet Caspian looked and said how great it was to see Regina looking out for her brother like a brave big sister.

"Okay, sweetie, let's go home," David said, and they began to walk back to Rumple's house.

As they walked, back at the house Rumple was feeding the animals before the party. He had already given Freya her dinner and was now opening a can of special tuna for Nala.

"Nala! C'mere, dearie!" he called the cat. Usually she was always there, waiting for him, twining her sleek little body around him and purring joyfully.

But as he put the tuna in her bowl, she didn't come. He hoped she wasn't shut in somewhere, and sent his awareness throughout the house, opening all the doors and yet could not find her.

"Belle, have you seen Nala?"

"No, I haven't."

"The last time I saw her . . .was before Regina left to go trick or treating. You don't think . . ." Alarm spread through his body like an adrenaline surge.

Frantic, he called her again, and again no black cat appeared.

He went to the door and opened it, stepping out on to the porch. "C'mere, Nala! Nala!" He made smooching sounds, recalling the last time he had done this . . .and what had become of his mischievous kitten then.

"Rumple, where can she have gone?"

"I don't know, Belle. But I'm going to find her," the attorney said and whispered a simple locator spell.

He felt the spell tug him down the block, and he followed.

It was now dusk, and a coat of inky black had fallen across the land, broken only by the moon and stars and the Halloween lights on the houses.

It was dark, gloomy, and creepy, but Rumple was not afraid. All he knew was his beloved cat was lost, and he had to find her before she got run over.

Startled by a child coming up the walkway, Nala had run from beneath the bush and across the lawn to a house further down the street. She was not used to being outside, and all the noises and weird smells terrified her.

Finally, she halted in a strange yard, all overgrown with weeds and unkempt. She didn't know that she was at a house where a cruel family lived . . .ones that hated all animals, and cats most of all, saying they were devil's get and black ones worst of all.

As the cat paused, panting, her sides heaving, there came a soft click, and then a net fell down from a tree and enfolded her.

"Gotcha!" shrilled a voice. "Pa, I got me a cat! A black witch familiar one!"

A grubby unkempt boy with a patched jacket and ripped jeans of about eighteen came out of the house, grinning.

Nala hissed and tried to scratch him as he lifted the net with her in it.

"Good job, Charlie! Bring the cursed thing here. I've got the table all ready," called an older man.

The boy dragged the hissing cat around the back of the house, where a dilapidated shed stood. Inside the shed were the pelts of many cats nailed on the wall, and the bones of many more lined the shelves. Cat organs were preserved in Mason jars and it smelled of old blood and death.

A gaunt man with a pair of scissors stood wearing a blood encrusted apron on his frame. He looked to be about fifty or so. On the table were several instruments almost like those a doctor would use. But they were no tools of healing.

"Pa, can I keep this one?" pleaded the boy. "I wanna wear it like a cap."

"Boy, don't be stupid!" the father shook his head. "This isn't like wearing a squirrel or something. These be the devil's animals and we're ridding the earth of them! Now, put the beast here. Then start the water heating."

There was a pot of water sitting on a camp stove.

The boy set the net with Nala in it on the table. The terrified cat could smell the blood of many cats here . . . and her green eyes grew wide and her tail lashed in fear.

As the large hands came towards her, she lashed out, scoring them with her claws.

"Oww!" yelled the cat killer. "You bloody beast!"

He twisted the net and Nala couldn't escape. Then he grabbed a long pole with a wire noose off the wall and shoved it through the opening at the top of the net. He expertly put the noose around the black cat's neck, trapping her and choking her until she stopped resisting him.

"There, you devil's spawn! We'll see if you do that again after I rip out all your claws!"

"Pa, what's that about her neck?" Charlie cried. "Looks like a gold collar!"

The man paused from reaching for some pliers. "That's gold awright! Be worth a pretty penny down at the pawnshop!"

"Lemme get it!" Charlie reached out and went to unclasp the golden collar.

As he did so, Nala meowed stridently.

The boy smacked her on the head. "Shut up, fleabag! This is mine!"

You dimwitted humans. Once MY human sees that he'll skin you!

If she didn't skin them first.

The boy lifted the collar up, and his eyes grew round with greed. "Pa! This has rubies n' stuff on it. And I think they're real n' not paste!"

He showed the collar to his father.

The man smirked. Then he said, "Maybe this'll be a happy Halloween after all. First the cat to skin and now this little windfall!"

Nala struggled to free herself of the noose, but the man knew how to use it, and she couldn't get her head out.

"Pa, since I caught the cat, that means I get some of the money, don't it? I wanna new knife!" the boy whined.

"You get what I say an' that's it." The older man grunted, and went to put the collar into his grimy apron pocket.

Meanwhile, Gold was following the spell, and when he reached the rickety house with the peeling paint, he gritted his teeth. "I should've known!" he spat. "Those fanatic Slades and their miserable industry."

The Slades were a family of trappers and fur traders . . or they had been in their old world. Now Gold suspected they traded in other things . . .on the black market.

He could sense Nala nearby, though, and he strode through the yard.

"Now, you limb of Satan, I'm going to declaw you and then boil you like a lobster!" chortled the eldest Slade.

He reached for one slender black paw.

Just as his hand closed about it, two things occurred.

Nala sank her needle sharp teeth into his hand.

And the door to the shed burst open and an ogre stood there, snarling, "SLADE!"

"Ahhh!" Charlie screeched. "PA! AN OGRE!"

The boy backed away, horrified.

Slade turned . . .and beheld a creature from his nightmares.

"No! Don't hurt me!" he whimpered, clutching his hand.

"FOOL!" Gold boomed, transforming his voice until it was deeper, darker, and more menacing. "How dare you kidnap my cat?"

"That-that's your cat?" sobbed Charlie. "We didn't know! Right, Pa?"

His father stood frozen, unable to move. "Please! Please! Don't eat me!"

The ogre bared its teeth. "Why? You have the fire all ready!"

Charlie began to howl. "Nooo! I don't wanna die!"

Nala meowed, knowing exactly who was there. And telling him what these cat torturers had tried to do to her.

Gold felt his temper surge.

He marched up and gently freed the cat from the noose.

Then he grabbed the cringing whimpering cur before him and lifted him off his feet, Slade was slight and Gold was furious. "Cat killer! How many cats have you tortured and killed?"

"I don't know! I don't know! Please! I'll give you anything!" babbled Slade. He held out the gold collar.

The ogre laughed. "That belongs to me! Now what will you offer, you pathetic piece of dung? Give me one good reason I shouldn't rip off your head!"

Slade began to blubber and weep, hysterical. The ogre's hand was around his neck and he could feel it cutting off his air.

Gold shook him hard. He was tempted to turn this idiot into a slug, but then thought the slug population might be insulted.

Instead he ground his teeth together and said, "Mmm! Smells tasty!"

Slade wet himself in sheer terror.

Nala hissed, suggesting something.

"Aye, 'tis fitting," growled the ogre.

"What-what are you gonna do to us?" Charlie sniveled.

The ogre glared at him. "Did ye torture the cats also, boy? Were ye part of this twisted evil doing to creatures that never did ye harm?"

"I . . .I . . .my pa tol' me that they were evil . . .and we had to kill 'em . . so they didn't taint us," the boy sobbed.

The ogre sneered. "Ye were following orders, then? Is that yer excuse?"

The boy nodded frantically.

"And ye didna know it was wrong?" demanded Gold coldly. "Don't lie, boy. I'll know. I can smell it!"

He enjoyed it! hissed Nala. Couldn't wait to skin me and get some money, the twisted little shrimp!

Under his glare the boy wilted. "Okay! Okay! I wanted to kill the rotten beasts! Pa says they're evil an' he's right! Look at their eyes! Glowing in the night like the devil's!" He pointed at Nala's eyes.

"Stupid boy! You are as ignorant as a louse! Both of you are! And it's that ignorance and willful cruelty which seals your doom!" the ogre snarled.

Slade blubbered. "I'm not sorry I killed them all! I'd do it again! Made a lot of money offa those cats!"

"You won't be getting the chance! Either of you!" the ogre hissed. "This is All Hallows Eve, the night sacred to me and mine! And on this night the gods have granted me special powers. A louse I name thee for only a louse would torture another creature and then boast of it. And so a louse you shall be . . .till the winter solstice . . .if ye survive that long!"

He gestured and Slade suddenly became a scurrying flea.

He pointed at the boy and he too became a flea.

"Now, fleabags . . .get you gone! Before I crush you!" he bellowed.

The fleas jumped and ran . . .and a sleek black shape pursued them across the floor, claws flashing, until they scurried into a knothole and escaped.

"C'mere, baby," Gold crooned, and held out his arms.

His black cat jumped into them.

He put her collar back on and then stroked her stiffened fur. "Let's go home, dearie. These animal murderers won't be hurting anymore helpless cats again."

Then he turned and walked out of the shed.

He would call Animal Control in the morning to investigate . . .and explain that he had seen two figures run out the back before he could catch them, but he had identified them as Amos Slade and his son Charles.

If they managed to survive till Dec 21st, they would find themselves with a warrant for sixty counts of animal cruelty and murder, which were the number of skins he'd counted on the wall.

"Oh thank goodness you found her!" Belle cried when her husband came home.

"Tell me about it," Gold said softly.

His wife paled when she saw the steely and resigned gaze. "What happened?"

"Later, Belle. It's not something I can discuss right now," he said shortly. He would tell her, but right then he wanted to relax.

The Nolans returned to the Victorian a short time later, Regina still excited from the bounty she collected from some of their neighbors. "Unca Rumple, I'm BA-A-ACK!"

"You havta yell so loud? The whole neighborhood can hear ya!" shouted Meredith.

Regina ignored her and ran into the living room where Rumple was sitting on the sofa with Nala on his lap. "Lookit, Unca Rumple! I got a LOT of candy this time!"

"That's wonderful, dearie," he murmured, continuing to stroke the cat's back.

She held out a hand to the cat, and Nala allowed her to pet her, which was a great concession, but the black cat was slowly learning to trust the little girl who had once been the Evil Queen.

"She looks scared...what happened?"

The sorcerer smiled, glad his two girls were getting along, and grateful he had found and stopped those animal torturers before they had harmed his beautiful kitten. The thought of what they had done to all those innocent cats nearly made him ill.

"She got lost for a bit outside and it frightened her." He refocused on his niece. "Do you want some apple cider, Regina? And some cinnamon twists? Alice made them."

"Uh huh!" she nodded eagerly, then went into the kitchen to greet Alice, who was dressed as a French maid, and get some warmed apple cider and a cinnamon twist.

Jeff came into the den, he was dressed as an Old West gambler, and shuffled a pack of cards and said, "Hey, Rumple, let's play a game of strip costume poker at the party."

"Fine with me, dearie. If you don't mind losing your shirt," the other chuckled.

"Me? More like you will, pardner," Jeff drawled.

"We'll see," Rumple said.

"Ummm...s...strip poker!" Archie gasped.

Lilly giggled beside him.

"Relax, Doc," Jeff soothed. "We only take off costumes . . . you've got clothes on underneath, right? Alice would have my hide if I bared it all."

At the mention of hides, Nala trembled, her whiskers quivering, and hid beneath Gold's arm.

"It's okay, dearie," he murmured. "They can't hurt you." His fingers rubbed her ears and under her chin until she relaxed.

"Ummm...yes but..." Archie blushed.

"Oh it'll be fun," Lilly assured him.

"All right...but I am NOT baring all!"

"You know how to play, right, Doc?" Jimmy asked. "Otherwise I can teach you. I know all the variations and everything."

Emma looked at him speculatively. "Too bad you're underage, Jimmy. We could really clean up in a casino."

Bae groaned. "Emma, don't encourage him. God only knows what else he learned on that island."

"Plenty. One of my dad's mates was a gambler and he taught me all his tricks," his brother boasted.

"Actually, I don't," Archie confessed.

"I'll need some lessons too," added Lilly.

"I can show you some while we're waiting for the kiddies to go off to dreamland," the former pirate said and beckoned them over to the dining room table. "Jeff, mind if I borrow that deck?"

Jeff tossed it to him. Jimmy caught it neatly, then shuffled it with a flourish.

"All right . . .here's how we start . . ."

Regina started to drift off on the floor, her bag of candy at her feet.

David saw and whispered, "Hey, princess, let's get you in PJ's, okay?"

He picked up his sleepy daughter. Snow was already upstairs, feeding Caspian and rocking him to sleep.

Rumple saw and said, "I'll be up in a few, David."

"Night, Unca Rumple," his niece muttered.

"Night, dearie. I'll be up in a minute to tell you a story."

He gave David a few minutes while he carried the dozing Nala upstairs and put her in his bedroom, in her cat bed.

Then he sought out his "brother-in-law".

Regina was in her little bed, wearing her Rapunzel nightgown and she gave her uncle a smile when he came into the room. "What story are ya gonna tell me?"

Rumple sat down on a chair next to her bed. "One about a square pumpkin named Spookley."

Regina listened quietly as Rumple told the tale of a square shaped pumpkin who was different from all the other pumpkins in the pumpkin patch. By the time he got to the middle of the story, Regina was asleep.

He quickly tranced himself, set wards over his mind, then soared into the dreamscape.

Using the magical markers his sister and fellow mage had set, Rumple located one of the more brightly glowing memories and entered the child's mind, to see what had disturbed her dreams now.

Once more he slipped through Regina's memory palace, which was actually the same palace she had grown up in, before Henry had lost everything to debt.

As he walked down the hall, he passed a door where he heard a familiar cold voice lecturing.

Cora, you harpy bitch! he thought angrily. What have you done now?

He stalked into the room and saw the familiar figure of the Queen of Hearts in her red velvet gown, and her daughter standing before her, looking at her red velvet slippers.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to play with Melissa," Regina sniffled.

"Regina, how many time have I told you-you are not some chimney sweep's daughter!" Cora was growling, her beautiful features suffused with rage. "You are the heir to the throne and you don't lower yourself to play with commoners!"

She gestured and a child with long blond hair dressed in a patched dress and barefoot appeared in the room. She smiled coldly at the girl, who was a mere year older than Regina. "Hello, darling. Is it true that you played with the princess today?"

The girl sank to the ground. "Yes, Your Majesty."

Cora smiled diabolically. "How very . . .arrogant of you. Commoners don't mingle with princesses. They kiss their feet."

Rumple clenched his fists but was helpless to do anything but watch the memory play out.

Cora knelt and put her long nailed hand beneath the child's grubby chin. "Now . . . since you have dared to taint my daughter with your grubby presence . . .there must be punishment." She sounded positively gleeful.

"Mommy, don't hurt her!" Regina cried, daring to speak up. "She's my friend!"

Cora spun on her with the speed of a cobra striking. "YOU are a princess! You don't have commoners for friends! Love is weakness! o you understand?"

Regina cringed. "Yes, Mommy."

Cora snorted. "No, you don't. Not yet. But you will."

Then she pointed at the little chimney sweep's daughter. "You, little cretin, will serve as an object lesson to my daughter. Commoners are bred in the dirt, Regina. They are dirty and filthy, like roaches. They are not your equals. You are a ruler, and you must show your strength and rule like a queen or else live on your knees. And in order to do this, you must crush those who overstep their bounds with you."

Regina shook her head. "Mommy, don't hurt her! Please!"

Cora's hand lashed out and smacked her daughter. "Never cry in front of anyone! That is weakness! Are you a queen or aren't you? Now watch! This is how you punish those who get above themselves."

Then she gestured and the little girl became a roach.

Before it could run away, Cora lifted her foot and crushed it.

Regina sobbed.

The dreamscape shuddered as the memory ended and now Rumple could alter it. He stepped forward and snarled, "A queen who abuses her power gets punished too, dearie!"

He gestured and Cora became a wrinkled hideous beast. "Now you look like what you are on the inside, Your Majesty!"

Cora shrieked. "Noo! I'm ugly!" she wailed.

"Yes. As ugly on the outside as your heart is black," Rumple giggled.

Regina gaped at him. Then she started to smile.

"Change me back!"

"No." Rumple refused.

"You have to! I'm the Queen!" Cora yelled petulantly.

"Oh really? Ask me nicely."

Cora grimaced. "A queen asks nothing! Change me back!"

"Say pretty please with sugar on top," the imp demanded infuriatingly.

Cora looked like she wanted to spit nails.

Finally she gritted out, "Pretty please . . .with sugar on top."

"Not good enough, dearie!" Rumple singsonged.

"WHAT?" Cora screamed. "You said . . ."

"I lied." Then he waved his hand and she disappeared in a cloud of green smoke. "Bye Your Ugliness!"

Then he waved a hand and whispered, "Forget, baby girl. Forget." He kissed her forehead, replacing the memory with one of her and Snow coloring pictures together in the kitchen, while Cas napped in his bouncy chair.

"Look, Mommy, I made you a heart!" Regina showed Snow a picture of a large heart colored with red and pink crayon.

"How beautiful! We'll hang it on the fridge so Daddy can see it when he comes home."

"Do you really like it?"

"Regina, I love it. because YOU made it and that's the best present of all-a gift from the heart," Snow said, beaming. "Because love is the greatest gift you can give . . ."

Rumple winked then vanished in a puff of purple smoke, emerging back outside the memory palace moments later.

Soon he opened his eyes.

Regina still slept, peacefully now. He kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, minx," he said, then he went downstairs to rejoin his guests for the Halloween party.

After the night he'd had he was ready for some fun.

Most of the guests had already arrived and most of them were dancing to the music playing on Rumple's Bose.

All of them were enjoying the food set out and drinking the Devil's Punch and Bloody Mary's made by David and Bae.

"Welcome, friends, to the second annual Gold Halloween bash," Rumple greeted, now wearing his full ogre costume. "Let's get this party started!"

He gestured and the Bose began to play Monster Mash.

Then he held out an arm to Belle. "Shall we dance, Fiona, dearie?"

She bowed. "Of course, Sir Shrek!"

He took her arm and then began to twirl her around the floor, his eyes twinkling through his mask.

"Whatever happened to the Transylvania Twist..." Bae sang while he and Emma danced past them.

"It's now the Mash!" Emma sang.

"It's now the Mooonster Mash..."

"The Monster Mash!"

"It's a graveyard SMASH!"

"Shake it, Herman!" Jeff called to Archie as he boogeyed with Alice.

Archie and Lilly were jitterbugging to the music they way they did with different partners at a party with a 50s theme a few months earlier in Portland.

"At least I don't have to worry about you breaking my toes!" Lilly joked to her date. "

"I did have two toes broken by Doctor Weingard in those killer heels!"

"She wasn't wearing saddle shoes?"

"No...was dressed like Elizabeth Taylor!"

Rumple waltzed past with Belle, both of them having eyes only for each other, elegant and graceful despite their costumes.

David whistled and whispered to Snow as they rumbaed, "I have to hand it to the little guy-he can dance like Fred Astaire. Who would've thought?"

"That goes to show that you don't underestimate a man like Rumple."

"No . . .I guess not. There's more to him than meets the eye."

"You just have to look harder."

David nodded. "We're lucky he's family, Snow."

"Yes we are," she agreed.

As that song ended and a new one began, Jimmy sampled the Devil's Punch in the corner. He hadn't had a real drink since coming to this land, in deference to the laws of this land. But he figured this one time couldn't hurt any, as he was in his own home.

He hadn't expected the punch to be as strong as it was, almost as strong as his father's rum.

But it was good, he decided. Not any prissy stuff like the champagne Belle liked to have on occasion.

Next he'd have some of that stuff his brother had made . . . as long as the couples were dancing nobody would notice him taking a few drinks before the poker game.

He'd forgotten that it wasn't a wise idea to mix drinks because they tended to get someone drunk much quicker than one kind would.

He liked the spicy bite of the Bloody Mary and meant to ask Bae why it was called that. Was it named after a woman who had been murdered?

Once he finished one glass he poured himself another.

He had three or four drinks before the music ended and he saw his uncle and aunt step off the floor and come towards the table. He knew he couldn't be seen, so he withdrew near the poker table.

He was also starting to see doubles of everything in the room. That never happened before but the nausea certainly did.

Bae poured himself a Bloody Mary, thirsty after the dancing. As he sipped it, and munched on a mummy on a stick, he realized he hadn't seen his brother in awhile.

He looked about, wondering where he was. Then he spotted him. "Hey, kid," he sauntered over. "Ready to play some poker?"

"Uhhh...yeah..." he slurred.

Bae's eyes narrowed. "Jimmy, how many did you have?"

"Ummm...bout...four...or was it five...?"

"Kid, Jesus H. Christ! Papa's gonna have a conniption!" He groaned.

"You're gonna rat me out?"

"No, idiot. He's gonna take one look at you and know." Bae said exasperatedly.

"Aww shiiittt...can ya help me out here?"

Jimmy was having images of having a long list of chores to do as punishment and a stern lecture. His father would have just told him to sleep it off but he hated disappointing Rumple after everything the man had done for him.

Bae sighed. "Sorry, but unless you wanna go upstairs and sleep, you're gonna have to pay the piper. There's nothing I can do now that you're drunk."

"Ready to lose your shirt, Gold?" Jeff teased.

"That's gonna be you, Carstairs!"

Jimmy slid into his seat, trying his best not to appear intoxicated but he could barely hold his head up. Rumple scowled at him.

"Jimmy! Were you drinking?" he demanded.

"Ummm….yeah.."

"Gods and hells, lad! How many did you have?"

"I lost count…I'm sorry, Uncle Rumple…."

Rumple gave him his Very Disappointed Look. "You're gonna be in the morning when you're sick from all that liquor you drank and you'll be doing some extra chores this week as punishment."

Jimmy lowered his head in shame. "Yes, Uncle Rumple."

"You gonna be able to play?" Bae asked him.

"Yeah, I can play!"

Jeff handed him the deck of cards. "You deal first. We're playing Texas Hold 'Em!"

There were nine players at the table: Jimmy, Rumple, Belle, Baelfire, Emma, Archie, Lilly, Alice and Jeff. Snow and David were upstairs with the kids and would join the game after two of the players were tapped out. Jimmy dealt two cards facedown to each player and turned face cards face up in front of him that would serve as the community cards. The players would use them along with the remaining cards he dealt to them to make their hands. Jeff opened the betting with one of his shoes. As soon as he took it off and set it on the table Bae gasped and held his nose.

"Jesus H. Christ, Jeff! What died in there!?"

"I don't think I want to know," Emma felt the bile rising in her stomach.

"These are my lucky boots," Jeff said.

"When's the last time you washed them, dearie?" Rumple demanded.

"Oh like your boots don't stink."

"No, they don't because my footwear is enchanted and when it isn't I put powder in it to prevent it from nauseating everyone." He pulled off one of his boots and put on the table beside Jeff's while the others looked at their cards, all of them confident that they were holding the winning hand. More shoes and boots were added to the pile. Rumple giggled as he turned his cards over. "Look and weep, dearies! Full house!"

Archie shook his head and flipped his cards over. "I don't think so Rumple. Four of a kind!"

Rumple gaped at him.

"Better close your mouth, Papa. Gonna attract flies!" Bae quipped.

"Looks like those lessons I gave ya paid off, Archie," Jimmy bragged.

"Yeah well he's not gonna be wearin' those clothes for long!" Jeff declared while he shuffled the cards.

After they made sure all of the kids were asleep, Snow and David rejoined the rest of the adults in the basement. Snow took out her phone and snapped a picture of the occupants of the poker table, all of them having been forced to forfeit parts of their costumes for lost hands with Jeff and Alice losing the most clothing.

"You're lucky we're not playing the other version, Jeff, or you'd be naked now!" David laughed.

"I blame Jimmy. He's a regular card shark." Jimmy was wearing more of his costume than the others.

Emma smirked at Bae. "Remember that time when we…"

"I dinna wanna hear it!" Rumple cried, covering his ears.

"Neither do I!" David scowled at his daughter.

"Oh lighten up Dad!"

Alice and Jeff were eliminated in the next hand giving Snow and David the opportunity to play and the Carstairs went upstairs to start cleaning up.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Meredith stood in Regina's room glaring down at the other child while she slept. Her bag of candy was on the floor beside the bed. The townspeople had been generous to the little girl and the older child was burning with jealousy.

It's HER fault I couldn't go get candy so why should she have it all!

She snatched up the bag before Regina awakened and ran downstairs, stuffing some of the candy into her pockets and down her shirt before she started eating the rest. When she was done Little Miss Princess wasn't going to have a single piece left to enjoy. She smirked with satisfaction as she bit into a small Kit Kat bar.

Regina awoke hearing someone retching in the hallway. She crawled out of bed and poked her head out the door to see Meredith leaning against the wall vomiting.

"Ewwww! You're pukin all over the place! 'Sgusting! Go puke in the toilet!"

"Shuddup…" Meredith groaned and vomited again.

Regina ran downstairs and collided with Rumple when the adults were coming out of the basement. "Unca Rumple! Meredith's pukin all over the wall an the floor upstairs!"

"I'd better go check on her," Lilly said worriedly.

"I wonder what made her sick," Belle mused.

"Guilt maybe?" Jimmy suggested. "She's been a brat all evening."

"She ate all my candy!" Regina wailed, pointing to her overturned bag on the dining room floor along with a pile of discarded candy wrappers. It was all that was left from Regina's trick or treating expedition.

"Honey, we can get you some more," Snow said softly in an attempt to soothe her heartbroken daughter. Regina sat down on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chin and burst into tears.

"But it was mine! Why'd she havta be so mean? I woulda shared if she asked!" she sobbed.

Lilly brought Meredith back downstairs, her face pale. "Rumple, we'll need to get going. Meredith's not feeling well...maybe she's coming down with the flu..."

"No she's not, Lilly. She ate Regina's candy," Archie accused.

"Archie, I know she's been difficult all evening but she wouldn't…"

"She did!" Regina yelled, pointing to the wrappers on the floor then stood up and faced her rival. "Didja eat all of it or didja stash some? Huh?"

"I didn't stash nothing!" Meredith yelled back. "And I didn't eat your stupid candy!'

"Oh yeah? Then how come you're pukin' up chocolate?"

"Cause of that dirt crap I ate earlier. Prolly had something rotten in it!"

"How would you know? You spit it out all over Regina," Jimmy reminded her.

"Well there's one way to get to the bottom of this. I suggest you turn out your pockets, dearie," Rumple demanded coldly, giving her a Look.

She glared at him defiantly. "You can't make me!"

"No but I can. Turn out your pockets, Meredith."

"Gramma…."

"Now."

Candy pieces fell to the floor at her feet from the pockets of her jacket and shorts. Belle scooped them up and put them back in Regina's bag then handed it back to her.

"You are still grounded, Meredith...and you'll be using all of your allowance to replace the candy you ate," Lilly informed her.

"But m'not gonna have any money left!" she complained,

"You should have thought of that before you helped yourself to Regina's candy without asking her," Archie lectured.

"Yeah cause I woulda shared if you asked!"

Meredith snorted. "Yeah right!"

"Now what do you have to say for yourself, Meredith?" Lilly pressed.

"I'm sorry….and I'll get you some more candy," Meredith added shamefully.

"Okay. If you get me more I'll let you have some," Regina proposed.

"You will?"

"Uh-huh…'cause Mommy and Daddy an' Unca Rumple always say it's polite to share," Regina recited.

Snow and David smiled at each other. Indeed they had taught Regina the importance of sharing and she never hesitated to do so unlike her mother who always wanted everything for herself. So had the Evil Queen but that woman was now in the past and she would remain there forever with the help of her family and friends.

Rumple gestured and a bottle appeared in his hand. In it was a familiar red cordial. "Give her this when she gets home, Lilly. It will help her stomach."

"Thank you, Rumple, and again I'm so sorry for all this."

"It's all right, dearie."

"Come on Meredith, let's get you home," Archie said softly and picked her up, shocked when she didn't struggle or protest. He carried her out to the car and placed her in her booster seat. "Good night. We did have a good time."

"Good night!"

Regina was still sitting on the floor holding her candy bag when the adults returned to the living room. "I am so proud of you, honey," Snow said to her.

"You are?"

"Yes, we are," added her father. "And I think maybe you taught that girl a very important lesson."

"I did? What'd I teach her?"

"You showed her that even though she'd done something mean to you, you forgave her and you were even willing to share your candy with her when she couldn't go out and get her own," Rumple explained.

"Cause you always forgive me when I'm bad and make sure I 'member not to do it next time. I forget sometimes though…"

They burst into laughter.

The Evil Queen may have been in the past but Regina still had a tendency to be a bit naughty when she wanted to be and they all recalled some of her previous hijinxs including stealing a fairy wand and letting the dinosaur skeletons run loose in the museum, decorating the dogs to look like Easter Eggs or spiders, making Rumple wear fairy wings and a tiara while he chased her through FAO Schwartz, trying to glue swan wings on her niece and liberating a flock of Thanksgiving turkeys. They couldn't help wondering what mischief she would get into next. She always kept them on their toes but they wouldn't have her any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene with Gold and the Slades was based upon an actual event where a man and his son were arrested for torturing and killing over sixty cats on Halloween. I included it as a cautionary tale for anyone who has cats, please realize these people really do exist and will hurt your cats if theycatch them, so keep your kitties indoors as more cats are tortured on Halloween than any other time of year due to sickos and crazies.


End file.
